Wow! Technology

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers...



Like a telephone... On his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.




The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular."




The bartender says "Prove it ."




The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible," says the bartender. "I would never have believed it!"







"Yeah," said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return.







Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. There is the guy spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt.




"Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?"



The guy turns and says: "No, I'm ok . I'm just waiting for a fax."

Shuddha Hindi Meaning For some English words

CRICKET : Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita


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CRICKET TEST MATCH : Pakad dandu, maar mandu, de danaadan pratiyogita


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TABLE TENNIS : Lakdi ke phalak shetra pe Le takaatak de takaatak


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LAWN TENNIS : Harit Ghaas par Le tada tad, de tada tad


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LIGHT BULB : Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak


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TIE : Kanth Langoti


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MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti


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TRAFFIC SIGNAL : Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa


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TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti


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TRAIN : Sahasra Chakra Louh Path Gaamini


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ALL ROUTE PASS : Yatr Tatr Sarvatr Gaman Aagya Patr


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RAILWAY SIGNAL : Loh Path Gamini Suchak Yantra


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RAILWAY SIGNAL : Agni Rath Aava Gaman Soochak Pattika


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RAILWAY SIGNAL : Louh path gaamini aawagaman suchak yantra


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RAILWAY STATION : Bhabhka Adda


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BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak


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MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev


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CIGERETTE : Shweta patra mandit dhumra shalakha praveen.

Funny Meanings

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
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Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
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Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
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Divorce:

Future tense of marriage
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Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
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Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
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Compromise :

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
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Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .
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Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.
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Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
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Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
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Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.
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Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
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Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
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Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
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Experience :

The name men give to their mistakes.
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Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.
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Philosopher :

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
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Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
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Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
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Optimist :

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.
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Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
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Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
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Father:

A banker provided by nature.
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Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.
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Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
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Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
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Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills