FACTS OF LIFE

SHARING AS RECEIVED




Porpoises and chimpanzees enjoy engaging in group sex.




Bizarrely, mouse sperm is longer than elephant sperm.




Male penguins only ejaculate once a year.




Hamsters are very sexually active, having sex up to 75 times a day.




The average chimpanzee takes only 10 seconds to copulate.




Fish practice fellatio.




The female mantis eats its mate's head during sex ? And the male mantis finishes the sex act without it.




Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure, rather than just reproduction.




In his lifetime, the average male will ejaculate about half a trillion sperm.




On average, men think about sex every 7 minutes.




According to research, people who have sex once or twice a week have better immune systems.




The technical term for the missionary position is Venus observa.




The average male erection is 5.5? To 6? Long.




For every 35lb of extra weight a man has, his penis will appear to be one inch smaller.




Most men and women experienced their first orgasm on their own.




Men reach their sexual peak in their late teens.




Women reach their sexual peak in their early 30s.




On average, men ejaculate about one tablespoon of sperm each time they have sex.




On average, it takes men only 6 minutes to reach orgasm.




The record for female orgasms in one hour is a massive 134.




The record for male orgasms in one hour is 16.




A fetish where people are aroused by licking an eyeball is called oculolinctus.




Quotations About Sex




I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. --- Tom Clancy




You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither. --- Steve Martin




Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. --- Woody Allen




Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. --- Rodney Dangerfield




There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL. --- Lynn Lavner




Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist. --- Matt Barry




Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. --- George Burns




Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. --- George Burns




Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. --- Sharon Stone




My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading. ---Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computer)




My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. --- Jack Nicholson




Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. --- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady) (and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humour)




Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. --- Robin Williams




Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.--- Roseanne




Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.--- Billy Crystal




According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. --- Robert De Niro




There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? --- Dustin Hoffman




There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, "I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." --- Jerry Seinfeld




Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. --- Rod Stewart

Test your Selves

So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it ." The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you have made your answer.



OK, relax, clear your mind and ... Begin. WELL, MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR!



1. What do you put in a toaster?

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Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.



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2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell " silk." What do cows drink?


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Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat.

It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World. If you said "water"


Then proceed to question 3.



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3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?


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Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions??? ?? If you said "glass,"

Then! Go on to Question 4.



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4. Its twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany(If you will recall, Germanyat the time was politically divided into West Germanyand East Germany.)


Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germanyand West Germany.

Where would you bury the survivors? East Germanyor West Germanyor in "no man's land"?


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Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else,

You are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors",

Then proceed to the next question.


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5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from Londonto MilfordHaven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.

In Sweden, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.

In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmarthen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at MilfordHaven. What was the name of the bus driver?


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Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!


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Now pass this along to all your " smart friends" and hope they do better than you did.


(PS: 95% of people fail in most of the questions !!)

Secret of success

Sir, " What is the secret of your success?" a reporter asked a bank President.

"Two words."

"And, Sir, what are they?"

"Right decisions."

"And how do you make right decisions?"

"One word.'

"And, sir, What is that?"

"Experience. "

"And how do you get Experience?"

"Two words"

"And, Sir, what are they?"

"Wrong decisions ."

Principles of Life

* Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.


* You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.


* When everything else is lost, the future stillremains.


* Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war .


* The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.


* If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.


* If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.


* Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.


* You won't get a second chance to make the first impression .


* Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.


* Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.


* If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.


* Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.


* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.


* Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything


* There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.


* Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.


* All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.


* Change your thoughts and you change your world.


* Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.


* There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise and those who don't take it.


* The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.


* Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.


* Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship .